As I leave for Ko Phangan, I realize that I’ve been away for more than two months already and that I’ve seen and experienced an incredible amount. So now it’s truly time to slow down after India and Nepal, and that also means the blog is taking a little break. Bangkok was a good week, and staying in one place brings peace. You know the routes, you know the surroundings — that’s also my mindset for the islands. Not too much hopping around, just staying put for a while.
After a night bus and ferry, I arrive well-rested on Ko Phangan and immediately feel the island vibe. I relax on the beach, explore the area on foot, and decide to get moving by running 5 km. Afterwards, I treat myself to a beer while watching the sunset at “The Amsterdam Bar.” The running does me good — a little dopamine is never a bad thing. The next day, I take it up a notch with a CrossFit class. During the class, I notice that many international people live here or stay for longer periods, which feels like a good sign to me. It reminds me a bit of Bonaire, only without my sister and brother-in-law — though they are with me in spirit. I enjoy fresh fruit, mango shakes, and amazing Thai food. In the evening, a jungle party, and the next day it’s the same recipe again: beach and relaxation. Wow — this really is pure enjoyment.
I feel more and more of the calm that I need, and I open my second book: “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.” A wonderful classic about personal development and life wisdom. After my beach day, I grab some food and meet two Germans who are wintering here for a few weeks. They tell me about all the things to do and share a website listing activities on Koh Phangan. To my left, a beautiful girl catches my attention, and I’m distracted by beautiful eyes and a kind smile. She tells me she noticed how present I am and that I’m not on my phone. With my own warm smile, I thank her.
The next day, on the recommendation of the two Germans, I go to Ecstatic Dance — something I’ve never done before, so… why not try it! A truly spiritual and somewhat floaty crowd in a large yoga hut turned dance floor, with great music. Ecstatic Dance means dancing without alcohol or drugs, just freely dancing without judgment. Lots of kind and beautiful people, and also a few very spiritual types — and myself, I probably figure somewhere in between, according to my own conclusion. Afterwards, I head to the beach for a swim in the sea, a book, and the warmth of the sun. I watch the sun set beautifully and enjoy the view on my own. Later, I head to a Sunday evening market in a nearby town, but the market isn’t set up — no idea why. I check the website the Germans shared and decide to continue on to a live music bar.
As I park my scooter, it’s dark already, hence I see a smile I recognize… the girl from yesterday. This has a reason, I feel it instantly. Her name is Eve. She’s here with her mother at the start of her journey through Asia, and they also ended up at an empty market. We sit down, enjoy the live band, and talk about Israel, where she’s from, about yoga, and about why she travels, and so do I tell my journey so far. Meanwhile, the band encourages people to sing a song during this open-mic night, and the atmosphere is very relaxed. We joke about singing a song — “if you do it, I’ll do it too.” Several people sing, and the band rotates musicians. When a Spaniard does a rap-song and says it’s his very first time on stage, I think: I can do that too. I joke with Eve that I’m going to do it, drink a little courage with a beer, and before I know it, I’m standing there with a microphone in my hands. I choose “Stand By Me.” After my singing lessons, this feels like the next step — but wow, how hard it is with a live band and no experience. I do it, and the audience joins in nicely, including Eve and her mother. Amazing! I thought Ecstatic Dance was outside my comfort zone, but this was next level. And yet, I didn’t feel pressure or nervous anxiety — I actually enjoyed it. Eve sings her song too, one she knows well; I’ve forgotten the title, but she has my full support as well. Very brave. And just like that, a joke turns into an experience. The smiles on both our faces stretch from ear to ear — what a beautiful encounter. She leaves for Ko Tao the next day, and who knows if our paths will cross again… You never know how the wind blows.
Back at the hostel, I also have a great time with one English guy and three girls. British humor is always gold. I enjoy the beach with them and every evening I watch a sunset somewhere. From my hometown Zandvoort, where the sun also sinks into the sea, I know that every sunset is special — and therefore a joy to watch every single evening.
Sun, sea, and sand — that’s the only recipe I follow here. I pick up a coconut from the ground and cut it open with my Swiss Army knife. Like MacGyver, I enjoy nature and calmly read my book. The book really makes me reflect on where I want to give more meaning to the next phase of my life. I’ve felt for a while now a strong energy that with willpower, anything is possible. What it comes down to for me is more creativity, music, enjoyment, freedom, fun, passing on lessons, and ultimately helping people with my own energy and love — of which I have plenty. Ko Phangan has something magical, and it gives me good energy. And yet, I also have a few days where questions come up about how I want to shape the coming period. Where will I be for Christmas? With whom? Why? Will that be fun? Should I stay in Thailand? What will I do next? Do I even want to return to the Netherlands? What about my 30th birthday? These thoughts occupy my mind for a bit and linger around the time of the full moon.
Ko Phangan is known for its full moon parties, so I shift my thoughts — and if you’re here, you simply have to experience it. My good friend Dean from Zandvoort is also on Ko Phangan for the full moon, together with his friend Damian. I see myself in Dean — ten years younger, fully embracing life, with Amsterdam roots and working in hospitality in Zandvoort. Gold. Proud that he’s already making these kinds of trips at a young age, and together we enjoy the full moon. It’s nice to see a familiar face. The full moon party itself is extremely crowded — thousands of people wasted on a beach. Beautiful to literally and figuratively cross it off “the bucket list.” Not the night of my life, but a memory with Dean and Damian.
On the day of the full moon itself, I attend a yin yoga class with Grace. I’m the only student, and Grace can read my energy very well. Her advice is to follow my intuition more. That intuition is mainly focused on the points I described earlier: music, creativity, freedom, fun, no pressure, enjoyment, and helping others. Grace’s lesson stays with me and is definitely something I need after the questions I mentioned earlier. I still don’t have all the answers, and although that’s difficult, I have to surrender to it — the answers will come.
I let it go, shift my thoughts, and decide to work on myself. I go to the gym, sauna, and ice bath — a good start to a new moon. Shortly after, Grace comes with an invitation for Yoga Teacher Training. That plants a seed in my mind, and it actually sounds really appealing. This feels like a beautiful next step, and I notice I’m genuinely interested. The answers to my earlier questions are starting to take shape. I’ll be doing this in January.
In the sauna, I meet Yael, a beautiful girl with beautiful eyes, and we start talking in a special way about each other’s lives. When I open up about myself, she does the same and tells me about a difficult period involving her relationship, which she has ended, and about losing her home due to the war. I don’t know why I attract so many Israeli people, to be honest. What I do know is that I’m willing to help anyone in the world. And I feel that I can do that for Yael simply by talking with her. It unfolds into a beautiful encounter — me as a listening ear, a hug, and a shoulder she needs when she becomes emotional. I recognize parts of her story and feel compassion for her situation. She gives back to me that I really need to do something with my energy and that I have a lot to give to the world. Do good, and good will come your way.
I relax, watch F1, make my plans for the coming weeks, and know that I must continue listening to my intuition. I meet beautiful people everywhere, and I keep trusting that on my path — one that I mostly walk alone. Alone, but not lonely. Finding peace in solitude. That’s how it feels. And all of that, on a stunning island. I have an amazing time on Ko Phangan and know for sure that I’ll return here. I’m also grateful to receive confirmation here about helping people, creativity, music, enjoyment, and freedom. That’s my course for the coming weeks. Twelve days on Ko Phangan in one blog, describing the highs and lows of lingering and enjoying the moments above. Here, I experienced a holiday feeling within a journey. Traveling is amazing, but it’s also something where you need to slow down.
Stepping outside the comfort zone, growing, trying new things, and helping people.
That’s how I summarize this blog.
See you soon ❤️
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