As calm and serene as the sea was with that beautiful sunset, that’s how wild it is the next day. I choose to go to the beach for a bit without my phone. A short detox from information and a calm start to the day. It’s not necessarily about the phone itself; for me it’s more about awareness. Waking up in peace, stretching a bit, reading a book, or calmly drinking a glass of water or tea, instead of scrolling for half an hour and then thinking: “What did I actually do for half an hour?”
Again, it’s all about balance, and finding a way that works is something I try while traveling. This time it shows itself in paying attention to the powerful sea. I notice more and more water coming over the sandbank, so much so that even the Cambodian locals and hostel owners start to get suspicious. Eventually, a tree even gets blown over right in front of the hostel. The gardeners and workers immediately get to work, and the tree is quickly stripped. Luckily nothing serious, but you do feel the power of nature for a moment. That’s definitely something I’ve become more aware of during my travels—from the mountains in Nepal where I felt so small, to a heavy storm or a tree falling because of the powerful sea and wind.
That afternoon I take a relaxed walk to get a coconut and some food, just to move a bit. A little later I walk along the beach and see a familiar face sitting there. My Turkish fling Mel… I notice myself freezing for a moment and thoughts rush through my head: “Oh, now I see her, maybe I’ll be with her again for a few days. Maybe she wants to travel together? Do I want that?” I hesitate about walking over to her; she hasn’t seen me yet. Then I realize: these are just thoughts, nothing more, nothing less.
To visualize a similar situation: you’re walking in the park or in the supermarket and you see a familiar face, and you wonder whether you want to make time for that person or not. At the end of the day, they’re just thoughts—nothing more. And despite it might take courage, remember you always have te control and power to decide if you move on or not. I put my thoughts aside and, with a smile, sit down next to her. We laugh the way we did before, with the humor we built up that week. She’s pleasant, so all those thoughts disappear. We have a drink together, catch up about the past few days, and then I move on again.
The next day I take the boat to the mainland, and yes… that sea is still just as wild. At the pier it’s already a bit chaotic, and some white faces are stepping ashore as well. My fellow passengers and I have to battle against the wind, and just before we depart the captain says: “Please put on life-jacket.” Well… then you know enough. After about 20 minutes it’s my turn, and luckily I hadn’t eaten much breakfast. The two little handles of the small plastic bag go behind my ears, and I neatly deposit my light breakfast and some remnants of yesterday’s fish into the bag. Bleh—always unpleasant. Once on land it’s okay, but I don’t feel great, and then realizing I still have a 12-hour bus ride to my next destination… Surrender mode is the only thing I can do, and just sit through the bus ride. I’m not sick, just a bit off. I arrive in Siem Reap in the evening, immediately take an ORS, and go to sleep. I’m briefly reminded of Mel when, in my hostel bed, I’m sleeping under a Turk and immediately recognize the language as he loudly plays videos on his phone. I surrender and fall asleep peacefully.
Halfway through the night I wake up… on intuition. One minute later I hear glass breaking. A strange moment, if I may say so myself. I wake up before the incident, and then something happens afterward. For me, it’s a confirmation of my intuition and that my body wakes me before something happens. I don’t even get out of bed because I hear enough going on in the hallway. The next day I see that everything is taped off, so it wasn’t a dream—just proof that my intuition is well tuned.
After the interrupted night I wake up around 9 a.m., and this day is all about Angkor Wat, the temple complex. I only have the morning to visit it because of a flight later that day. For some movement I decide to rent a bicycle, nice and easy touring, telling you’re Dutch without telling you’re Dutch.. I have a maximum of four hours, and in that time three temples are recommended to me. Angkor Wat is the largest temple complex in the world, and the temples are spread out. Many people spend a whole day or even multiple days there. I don’t have that time. Like Mathieu van der Poel (a well-known Dutch cyclist), I hop on my mountain bike for the tour of Siem Reap and visit the temples. Even though I’ve already seen countless temples, this complex is incredibly impressive. I see several temples—yes, they’re all different: one bigger than the other, one with an amazing tree growing through it, another with many more corridors and carvings. It’s more than worth it and does not disappoint. This is something you have to see, comparable to being in Paris and going to see the Eiffel Tower.
With my Dutch cycling legs I race from temple to temple, enjoying the surroundings, the landscape, and the challenge of the limited time I have. Final score: 29 km, 3 hours 43 minutes, and 5 temples.
Back on time, I rest in the tuk-tuk on the way to the airport for my flight to Phuket. I fly to Phuket as a stopover, and the next day I immediately take the bus to Koh Phangan. This already feels like coming home, and I go straight to the places I know from last time. It gives me peace, honestly. One place. Relaxed. You know the way, you can slow down, and I choose not to take in too many impressions during the first days because I’m doing my Yoga Teacher Training here. I do meet up with Supa, whom I met the first time I was here on Koh Phangan. Supa is Thai and has lived and worked in the US for a long time. Our brunch turns into a special, deep conversation about his life story and mine. This doesn’t happen often to me—actually rarely—that I meet someone and feel the same frequency. This is definitely a special encounter, and everything happens for a reason. We talk about feelings, about people, groups, life phases, letting go, and Buddhism. He’s lived here for four years and knows the right places on the island, so he gives me some tips. That meeting truly makes my day, and the next day I’m ready to start my Yoga Teacher Training.
Monday, with fresh courage, the training begins. Wow—what a special experience this is. Together with Lou and Galia, under the guidance of Grace. Three wonderful women whom I balance well with. The whole day is filled with self-practice, theory, giving instructions, and as the week progresses, giving instructions gradually turns into actually teaching. I started the training with a lot of enthusiasm, but after the first day I also had many doubts: “Is this my future? Am I now a yoga teacher forever? Do I need to look for work right away? Where should I teach? Will people even come?” Again—my thoughts, and how I’m programmed: wanting to know everything and launching like a rocket out of the starting blocks. No, not necessary, Stan. I also share this openly in the group, and then something falls into place for me when Grace writes on the board:
“Remember, you might not teach right after this training. Remember that from now on there will be a teacher inside you forever.”
This gives me immense confirmation. The fact that I already have a teaching role in life. Many people come to me with their questions, their stories, share insights, ask me things, or listen to what I say. This expresses itself very naturally in this training. From that moment on, I feel surrender on day three, and I really find myself in this lesson. I feel very confident this week, and I notice it’s a very strong energy. I enjoy every day and even embrace it when the energy is lower, because you’re also processing a lot of information. It’s focused on myself, I have a goal for each day, and I feel that I’m doing something I truly enjoy. Also the teaching itself, despite the little nerves of whether you’re doing it right or not. I make great progress, learn a lot this week, and do so in a wonderful group where there’s more than enough attention for each other. Everyone is making progress, and it’s really nice to do something like this together and learn from one another. Lou, Galia and Grace all have their beautiful path and background in life and that alone is educational for me. The training lasts a total of six days, with Saturday off.
On Friday evening I go to a night market with Supa, and the next day I’m free. On my day off, I first go to the beach by myself and then to the sauna with Supa. I’m completely in my relaxed mode. On Sunday it’s the big exam day, and I have to give a one-hour class. Which I prepare the night before. It goes well, and I pass my exam. I’m now officially a Yin Yoga Teacher. A wonderful addition and investment in my life which I will cherish forever. A true memory.
There’s only one way for me to sum this up:
“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
This was the right moment for me to do this, and I will carry it with me forever—a teaching role in life.
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